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Why, hello there traveller! Have you lost your way?
I can't be of much help in my current state, but come back on Sunday and I'll greet you with a sonic feast!
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What? You are looking for a secret?
I must disappoint you, friend.
There are no secrets here.
Please come back another time.
Meanwhile, please be quiet as to not wake this peaceful feline creature. Thank you! Fare well, traveller.
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